A Letter to My Lukie

Little Lukie Love Bug,


Today you are 1 year old. Sheesh. My Little Man. Every day of your life I have told you how much I love you, how grateful I am that you are in my life, and what a special little person you are. But, just in case you ever forget, here's a little reminder.

I vividly remember the exact moment I fell in love with you and felt that bond that meant you belonged to me. It was the morning after the very long day when you were born. You announced that you were ready to start your arrival at 3:06 am on April 20, 2009. A mere three hours after your official due date had passed. The last thing Daddy said to my belly before we went to bed that night was, "Are you sure you don't want to come out now? Daddy really doesn't want to go to work tomorrow." And, just like now, you listened to Daddy.

Something woke me in those early morning hours. This usually meant that you were pushing on my full bladder, so, as per usual, I headed toward the bathroom. But for once in 9 months, that wasn't the reason for my mid-night wake up call. I felt a pop and rushed to make it to the safety of the bathroom floor-- we were renting at the time and I don't think that our landlord would have overlooked amniotic fluid on the carpet when refunding our deposit. I yelled to Daddy that my water broke and he responded with, "Are you sure?" That is a comical response to someone who has ever had their water break, because, yes, I was sure. Daddy and I anxiously gathered our things and headed to the hospital, excited to finally see your sweet face and hold you in our arms. Unfortunately, you would not be ready to meet us face-to-face for another 19 hours or so.

Needless to say, when you were finally laid in my arms, I was tired. You were perfect. You looked just like your daddy. You were a sweet bundle of fingers and toes and love and scrunchy face. And we were both sleepy. I remember finally closing my eyes with you in the bassinet next to me. I think I was in a little bit of shock about what had just happened and couldn't quite believe that after all this time you were finally "real" and laying right next to me. I fell asleep for a few hours of much needed rest.

When I opened my eyes and realized where I was and felt the pain that reminded me that this was real, I focused on the little bassinet at my side. Inside the clear plastic case I saw the most beautiful face and dark eyes staring at me with curiosity and love. My heart filled and my eyes filled and I needed to hold you and kiss you and tell you I loved you immediately. But pain and fatigue kept me from getting to you and I had to wake Daddy up to put you in my arms. You were mine and I couldn't believe that I had lived all these years without you. Never before had I felt so complete. Never before could I have imagined how wonderful it would be to hold you. Never before had I felt so much love. You and Daddy are the loves of my life, and to finally have you both together was really more than I ever could imagine. Happiest day of my life.

I can't come close to listing all the amazing things that have occurred during your life. So many firsts, like your first taste of sweet potatoes. One word: love! So many repeats, like the nightly reading of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. He was still hungry. So many scares, like the two bloody lips in two days. It's hard to get blood stains out of t-shirts, by the way. So many lasts, like the last night in our apartment. It was your first home, and I will always love it for that reason. So much laughter, like the first time I made you scream with joy while playing chase. I fell over laughing! So many tears, like that first night of sleep training. Some were yours; some were Mommy's. But the most amazing thing has been watching you grow and change, and feeling the overwhelming love that Daddy and I have for you. In short, you are our favorite thing ever.

And while we, as your parents, are obligated to love you, the best part about this relationship is that we also really like you! You're clever. You snuck over and stole Alicia's painting tape when she wasn't looking and then brought it back to me to show off. I was never more proud! You're sweet. You cuddle with me during afternoon bottle time and while reading books before bed. You're funny. Between the faces and screams and gestures and sneakiness and the throwing of everything you can grab, you keep me laughing all day long. You're smart. While getting ready for Uncle Ryan and Auntie Debbie's wedding where Daddy would be playing guitar, you looked at me and said, "Dada guitar." I was dumbfounded. And finally, you are the cutest thing that your dad and I have ever seen. Daddy has even coined a phrase: in G-rated terms, you are a-gosh-darn-dorable.

Happy Birthday to you my little love, my stinker, my monkey, my sweet-face, my baby boy, my love bug. I hope that every year of your life is filled with as much wonder and joy as the last twelve months. I love you to the moon and back. I love you for infinity. I love you, my little man.

Love,

Mommy